Kim's Story

Just Wanting to Die

Kim’s Story2018-02-14T15:06:05+00:00

Project Description

  • NAME: Kim Garrison
  • LOCATION: Gainesville, Georgia
  • REMBERING: Jessi Hawkins 1982 – 2000

“I had no comfort from my faith, I hated and blamed God”

The pain of losing her daughter Jessi destroyed her marriage. This is what Kim Garrison told us. Jessi died in 2000 of a rare and totally unexpected heart disease (Myocarditis). What helped Kim in her grief ? “Nothing for the the first ten years” she explained, “I tried it all, alcohol, travelling, anything to escape… I had no comfort from my faith, I hated and blamed God”.

Kim attempted suicide and was only saved by a fortuitous phone call from Jessi’s brother at which point she realised that other members of the family also grieved for her daughter and that they should not have to bear the pain such an action would inflict on them.

“Jessi can still have her place and not be here.”

Kim has now accepted her new normal but it’s been hard, as her sister Tracey revealed, telling Kim, “to wipe the snot off her nose and get on with her life”.

Loyal to the core, this is as much Tracey’s story as it is Kim’s, her sister standing by her at the darkest of times. Kim is now remarried (to Tony, her childhood sweetheart!) and feels much more in control of her life having accepted that “Jessi can still have her place and not be here.”

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